Sister Pillow

Willa has started to have a very cuddly stage and I am trying to soak it all in while it lasts! The other day she sidled up to me and decided that my belly made the perfect pillow! I have a feeling that given the choice, Willa would probably prefer this nice pillow instead of a baby sister. Still, maybe she will be very good. She has been taking expert care of all her baby dolls and loves to give lots of kisses.

For a pregnancy update: I just passed the 31 week mark, I'm due March 9th. I had Willa at 38 weeks, though. I'm not sure if that was an anomaly or if that's way I cook 'em. Either way, the day is coming VERY soon! I'm feeling the regular 3rd trimester aches and pains. I don't think I noticed them as much last time because I wasn't continually forced up and down off the floor by a demanding two-year-old who wants me to follow her and play games all day. I think this baby might be sitting higher since my stomach has two settings: hungry or as stuffed as a Thanksgiving turkey. There doesn't seem to be a nice medium satiation level. I'm still running, but it's pretty slow and pathetic running. The baby is a regular Rocky and likes to punch and kick a lot. Sometimes I swear there is popcorn popping inside of me! Extra big baby? Extra small uterus? I'm not sure which, but it's hard to believe I've got two more months to grow. I'm grateful everything is going well.

My mom and I went to a bread making class on Saturday (side note: the Bosch has 800 watts of power, the KitchenAid only 250-300; if you make bread with a Bosch and let it knead the bread for at least eight minutes, it works the gluten so well that you only have to let it rise once; if you tried the same antics with a KitchenAid, you would burn it out very quickly - true story). Anyway, there was a sweet three-week old baby at the class and it got me very excited to hold and cuddle this new little one.

Christmas

Christmas with Willa was so fun this year! We had exhausted her the previous two nights from family parties and picking Ryan up from the airport, so Christmas morning she actually slept in until almost 8:30! We were all up an hour earlier, so we decided to break with tradition and eat Christmas breakfast before the presents. She woke up just in time to sit down at the table with us and I think she was a lot happier having food in her stomach while we opened gifts.

After we finished eating and cleaning up, we got ready to go in the living room. In my family, Santa doesn't wrap his gifts. In December, the gifts pile up under the tree from family and friends, but on Christmas morning Santa brings the toys and sets them up. We would run into the living room and play with the toys for quite a while before we actually moved on to opening presents. I actually think this is wise of Santa because he doesn't have to worry about different wrapping paper or anything like that. It might have made for a late Christmas Eve night at our house, however, when he had seven children's worth of toys and presents to assemble. Anyway, Willa had both some wrapped presents under the tree and some special Santa gifts that were set up and assembled for her. Ryan pointed her to look at the living room where the new toys were laid out and she said, "Ooooohhhhh!!!" and then starting running towards it. It was extremely, extremely adorable. She was very cute opening her gifts. One of my favorites was when she opened a small set of matchbox cars and shouted, "CARS!". She got probably three times more presents than she really needed. She was a little overwhelmed with all the new toys (and also had gotten a little hungry again) so we ended up opening the last of her gifts. That seemed like a better option than yelling at her to "Come open your presents!"

It was so fun to have Christmas with her at this age, and I can't wait for next year when she'll get the whole concept even more (and hopefully still be happy and compliant about what she receives). When we get back to Texas, I think I will take half of her toys and stash them in the attic for a few months - maybe they will be a nice surprise when the baby comes.

"Tucks" and other big words

I've been waiting to post until I could download a few pictures, but I don't think my parents' computer is reading the memory card, so I doubt I will have downloaded pictures anytime soon.

About two weeks ago, Willa and I were walking around the neighborhood and she saw the neighbor's cat and mooed at it. She has never really attempted any animal sounds at all before (though she could also do ducks). I said "meow" and then Willa meowed at it. From then on, she started roaring and making whatever animal sound we asked for whenever we asked. It was like she just decided to go for it. Since we've been in Utah, her language has just started exploding and she's finally at the point where she is experimenting and trying new words every day.

Her favorite words are tucks (trucks) and cars. She loves cars very much and can tell the difference between her toy trucks and her toy cars. She has been saying so many words out of the blue, it is so fun. We were looking at pictures from the summer and she pointed at the swimming pool, said "pool" and then pointed to the backyard. She says park, car, seat, cart (for grocery cart), ready set go, lots of animal sounds, and a whole bunch of words that I can't even keep track. When I say a word, she tries it out and experiments making the first letter sound. It is very cute and adorable and HELPFUL! The other night in the bathtub she yelled "Mommy!" and started pointing to her basket of bath toys. I asked what she wanted and she said, "Cars?!" Normally, there are a few play cars in the bath toys, but they weren't in there that night. I was able to say, "Oh, you want some cars? I'll go get some!" I sure love my girl!

First Snow

We had some snow two nights ago, so after a quick trip to buy some purple snowpants, Willa was ready for her first snow experience yesterday! She was a little wary at first, I had to show her how to walk in it and and that it was okay and fun to eat little handfuls (maybe not the best idea, but every kid needs the experience of eating fresh snow). I think if she were around other kids playing in it then she might be a little braver. By the end of the fun, she was brave enough to put the little snowman's head back on when it fell off. It's snowing right now and there is more in the forecast, so it looks like we'll soon have more than these few pathetic inches to play in. Our snowman turned out to be more of a garden gnome.

She also tried sledding down the back hill, and of course she wanted to go swinging since we were in the back yard. Typical of a toddler, she refused to wear gloves or a hat. Thanks so much to Aunt Becca for the early Christmas Uggs! They are all she has worn since we've been in Utah; they are so toasty warm and easy for me to put on her! I was also happy to see that she still fits her little white coat from Grandma Daniels. It is so soft and warm, I'm glad we're getting some more use out of it!

In Utah

Willa and I flew to Utah yesterday; we'll be here for a few weeks through the holidays. I was very worried about traveling because we didn't book a direct flight this time (it was over a thousand dollars cheaper to have a layover!), but she was SUCH a good girl on the plane! She had her own seat and did a great job of sitting with her seat belt on during take-offs and landings. I was very nervous that she would be scared and want to sit on my lap, and then we would get kicked off the plane for crying when the flight attendant wanted her to sit in her own seat. However, I think she has started to retain memories of all our many flights! She wasn't scared ever and was just a really great girl. She played with her toys and was delightful. I, on the other hand, had this massive head cold that has been worsened by pregnancy insomnia. The long day of traveling and cabin pressure made me feel like my head was going to explode the whole time. It was a little miracle that she was so good because I did not have the mental or physical capability to deal with a tantruming toddler. We made it, though, and are happily settling in at grandma's house!

Big Changes Pt. 2: Home Renters

We are now home renters! It's very strange and came about very unexpectedly, but so far we love it! Our apartment building kept demanding long-term leases, which we really never felt comfortable with since Ryan is still looking for a job. We would have to talk them down to six month terms every time, and with every new lease they would raise the rent. We were living our lives in six month increments just waiting to see what would happen. Last June, we decided that we had signed the last six month lease - especially since the end of the lease would be our two year anniversary of moving here. Come hell or high water, something was changing at the end of the six months. In our minds, that meant either saying sayonara to the Texas experiment or maybe moving to the other side of Houston so that Ryan wouldn't have such a long commute.

That decision was the easy part. The hard part was figuring out which option to take. We talked and talked and talked and prayed and fasted and talked and prayed and fasted and we still felt absolutely no direction. It felt like a stupor of thought about leaving and a stupor of thought about staying. Meanwhile, time was a ticking. The weeks and then months passed and we felt no closer to making a decision. October came, then NOVEMBER (our lease was up December 2) and still no closer! It was probably one of the most difficult decisions we had ever faced together. In a way, much more difficult than moving to Texas. Back then, we had hopes that hadn't been crushed by life experiences. Now, we knew where a bad decision could lead and we were scared. Finally, after one discussion in November where we talked in circles and realized that we were no closer to making a decision, we decided to call in for reinforcements. We started meeting with a member of the stake presidency who has always been very kind to us and interested in our life; he's also a pretty knowledgable businessman, so he could give us counsel concerning that, too. He really helped us refocus our goals and thoughts for the direction we wanted for our family.

A third option opened up for us that we hadn't really considered seriously before. Willa's former babysitter and her family moved to Denver a few months ago. Their house has been sitting vacant since it's a really tough market right now. She had called about two months ago to see if we were interested in renting, but at that point our future plans were too unsettled. I contacted her again, and now we're renting their house! I love it because it's a mutually beneficial decision. We are helping them by filling the house with renters, watching over the house, and taking better care of the house than possible random renters might. They are helping us by giving us a very generous rent (about the same as our apartment) and allowing us to be in their nice house with a month-to-month lease! We hadn't planned on staying in this part of town, but it feels like the best decision for us right now. It feels so relaxing to not worry about being here 3 months, 6 months, or more. Ryan and I both feel very peaceful and good about staying. It's hard because I wish the right thing had been to move to Utah, I think neither of us love it here, but we do feel good about our decision right now.

We're still surrounded by a lot of boxes, but it is amazing having more room! We've never really had more than 850 sq feet and it is life-changing. It's not a huge house, three bedroom and two and a half baths, but it feels palatial right now. I miss having the small and easy apartment space - my keys could only be in a few places, it was very easy to clean, but it was so difficult to make it a nice and relaxing environment because we just have so much STUFF. If we had a nice and cushy income, I think I would like being in a small space. I could just throw away all this stuff that I only randomly use, or that I am saving for the future because I know that I can buy it again when I need it. Ever since we've been married, we've kind of been hoarders. Keeping wedding gifts that have no real purpose at this time (maybe in five years they will). In the house, there is space to store it all and also space to use it. I finally used a tablecloth for the first time that we received from our wedding. I hate that I held onto it for five years, but now I'm glad to have it! Before, we never had a table big enough to use it. Also, it was annoying to dig into our one linen closet and having to move the extra toilet paper and paper towels, cleaning supplies, towels, beach bag, extra sheets, pillow, inflatable mattress, food storage, etc. just to find one tablecloth. I was filling the upstairs linen closet here and almost started crying as I was able to cleanly place sheets on one shelf, towels on one shelf, and just have everything orderly and accessible. I've even been cooking more and excited to cook because I don't have to climb up on a stool, empty a cupboard to find that one appliance I need that is behind all the other appliances, pull it down, have it clutter the counter while I cook, etc. I honestly don't know if I should have tossed so much of the stuff that crowded our apartment, or held onto it. I'm glad to have things now! I know that if I had thrown stuff out, I would be wanting to buy it now and not have the money to do so. If we had been renting a storage unit, that would have been a different story - I would have tossed everything and just saved the money we would have spent on the storage unit so that we could buy new stuff later.

Anyway, those are our big changes! Nothing huge, but definitely something different. We feel very optimistic about the future and feel like our faith has been much stronger lately.

It's so fun to have a yard! It's so easy to go outside and play with Willa! I don't dread coming home with groceries and figuring out how many trips it will take to get them and Willa up to the apartment!

Big Changes Pt.1: Catch and Released

Wow, lots of goings-on here! First of all, I got released from my calling as Young Women's president! Huzzah, hurrah!! I feel badly saying that, but it is such a relief. It was such a difficult, difficult calling for me; I think it's mostly because I have so many other stresses on my mind with Ryan's job, living in Texas, but another huge part of it is our ward. We have a great ward, we love them, but the boundaries are drawn so that it is a very humble ward. There are a lot of blue-collar shift workers who can't hold regular callings because they never know their schedule. There are a lot of airline pilots who also have a difficult time with callings because their flight schedules constantly change and they might miss six months of Sundays at a time. There are lots of single mothers. There is a lot of poverty. Basically, people are tired and are just trying to get by in life. There is a real leadership vacuum (hello, why else would I have this calling in the first place?) because there just aren't very many active adults.

Youth callings are always hard, and I think mine was harder than normal because I didn't have much help. In the beginning, we only had a few girls so we didn't want many advisors. It was just my two counselors, me, and one advisor who taught the Beehive Sunday lessons. Most YW programs have lots of advisors who teach the lessons and plan the activities. I had to teach several times a month, plan the activities (or call and make sure my counselors had planned what was on the calendar). The ward boundaries are quite large and we regularly have four investigators at activities and on Sundays. I had to call everyone and make sure they had rides - usually me, which meant I had to leave almost an hour early to pick them up and get to the activity in time, then I'd get home a lot later, too. Plus, Ryan would usually come home early so that I could leave, so I'd hardly get to see him. The middle schools here don't get out until 4:00 pm!!! So, if I needed to visit any girls, they wouldn't be home until after 4:30 (riding the bus), so then I'd be visiting at the worst traffic time, worst toddler time, worst dinner-making time. Add on top of that, parents who are rarely happy and aren't afraid to complain to me about everything we're doing wrong (when it's their daughters who make the other girls not want to come to YW's anymore!). None of these things are huge, but they just wore me down - and I really didn't do them very well, either.

Still, I'd like to remember two really great instances with the Young Women that made me realize why some people love that calling so much. A few months ago we took the youth to see the BYU Folk Dancers. It was such a great performance, but we got home really late. It was so hilarious being in a car with a bunch of really hyper Beehives. They were cracking me up. Another time when we went to visit one of our new Beehives, we asked about hobbies or interests she had. Her answer was, "I absolutely, one hundred percent LOVE Taylor Swift!!!!" I just love Beehives and their enthusiasm.

Second, we had Young Women in Excellence a few weeks ago. Last year, we only had four girls in our program total. We combined with another ward for Young Women in Excellence and only had one girl show up! This year, our Mia Maids planned the entire thing. We had eleven girls attend and participate and we have a total of fifteen girls in the program now! It was such a great evening and it was so nice to see the program grow and have some energy. This past Sunday, I also saw one of my favorite girls sustained as Laurel president. She has had a hard life and this past year made a total 180 degree turn. Last Sunday she spoke in church and was set apart as Laurel president - two things that would never have happened a year ago. It was a good day for me to end on.