Kindergarten Graduation!

I was counting down the days until school was out. Willa loved, loved, loved kindergarten this year once she adjusted to the long day. I loved it for her, but was more than ready to have some lazy mornings and to not have to pack her a lunch each day. One of the last days as we were throwing a lunch together at the last minute, I believe I just packed her one of those little packages of powder donuts for her main item in the lunch box, ha ha.

Mrs. Chevalier was a first year teacher, but she was really excellent. It was widely known that her kindergarten class was the best behaved. The room mom was telling me she thought it was because Mrs. Chevalier was very good about having strict boundaries and way more organized than the other teachers. Since I wasn't able to be in the classroom very much (you can't bring other children with you when you volunteer) I really don't know. But what I did know of her, I really liked. She kept everyone updated with Class Dojo and we had little interactions at pick-up every day. I felt like she really loved the kids and they could feel it.

For the kindergarten ceremony, the classes first met in the gym and sang a few songs all together. Willa was very into the actions and loved being up there. Then, they divided up and went back to their own classrooms with the parents. It was extremely crowded, but also fun to just have our own little kindergarten class together. They sang "We're All In This Together" and it was freaking adorable. You could tell they had worked on it for a long time and all the kids had the lyrics and actions down pat. Actually, a few weeks earlier in piano, her teacher was letting her choose a fun song and Willa picked that one. I wondered how she even knew what that song was, but it was because they had been practicing it for a long time as a surprise. She looked so cute and adorable and she was so excited to sing it. But now, whenever I bring it up she says she's embarrassed. I wanted to show her the video clip to show her how much I loved it and she started crying and telling me to turn it off! I guess the shyness is still there underneath her big kindergarten self. So tender! But, since she doesn't read this blog or know it exists, I figured that I might post it here for everyone to see. It really is soooo cute.

The teacher then handed out awards. Willa got something for finishing all her sight words this year. And she got the "You Could Teach This Class" award. I don't know if I should interpret that as she's bossy, or just really smart, ha ha. She's very concerned about following the rules and wanting others to follow the rules! But she has told me that sometimes when the teacher is busy, she'll have Willa test the other kids on their sight words.

 Kinder graduation was actually the second to last day of school. Here's some pictures from the last day. They got to have free dress, so that was exciting!

 These are the ladies who help with drop off in the morning. They are so nice and were so excited to see Lars after he was born!

 Willa really wanted to have a pool party, so I emailed all the parents in the class and said that we'd love to host a very low-key and informal party on the last day of school. I said that siblings were welcome, but that it couldn't be a drop-off party. Each kid needed to have a parent or guardian with them because I didn't want anyone to drown! We have about ten kids from the class plus all their siblings. It was a lot of fun! I provided watermelon and chips and everyone else brought lots more food to share. It was a perfect way to end the school year.

Dragon Dancers

The week previous to graduation, Willa had her dance recital at the school. They have a dance group called Dragon Dancers and it was a free after school activity that she REALLY wanted to do. It was almost the entire Winter/Spring semester on Thursday afternoons. She stayed after school for it and I picked her up at 4:30. It was a LONG day for her and by the end, she was ready to be done. I think Thursday was generally a tiring day, she complained about it a lot and said they had a lot of specials that day. But, when it came time for the performance she was a star and loved it so much that she is begging to do it again in the fall. We'll see about that, I just don't like having her gone so long. It was very cute (well, what we could see was cute, it was extremely crowded and we were in the back) and the theme was Candyland. She was a Lollipop. She really loved her make up and the purple lipstick!

We love our darling girl. I can't believe kindergarten is over. It feels like a magic phase of childhood is gone. I also can't believe that first grade starts in two week!!

Lars - Two Months!

Lars was two months old on June 8th. That morning, I realized he was wearing the same outfit as in the one month photo, so I hurried to take a picture for comparison. Then later that day, I wanted to take another photo of him post-bath because he's just so much cuter after I've washed his hair.

He is still such a good and sweet baby. He will lay under his play yard and just smile at the blinking lights and kick his legs. Sometimes he's under there quite a while when I'm making dinner or trying to get the girls ready for something, poor baby. He loves to smile and talk and will hold your eyes quite a while smiling and cooing. Baby cooing is just about the sweetest thing ever, it just melts my heart every time.

He's starting to love his sissies - not so much when they want to hold him, but more when they lean over his bouncy chair or carseat and try to smile and talk to them. It's so nice having Willa be a little older, though! This past week he really wanted to be held at one point but I just couldn't, so I sat Willa down and had her hold him while I ran around like a crazy person doing whatever needed to be done. I've tried baby-wearing him sometimes with mixed results. He really doesn't like his face held in with the wrap, but he's not quite ready to be front facing yet. If I tie it tightly, he gets mad, if I loosen it, then he feels a little unstable and gets mad. I might need to watch some Youtube videos to bring me up to speed on this all. The other reason I'm not huge into it is because it always puts babies to sleep - and if they are going to sleep, I'd rather they do it off of me so I can have a little space. I'm definitely in favor of baby-wearing whenever going out somewhere with a stroller would be super annoying. Ryan's also picked up a ton of slack in the kitchen as far as cleaning up at night and unloading the dishwasher in the morning, so that's helped a lot too.

 I thought he was so big at two months, but looking back at this photo he was so much smaller than he is now! You can see how much he's grown into this outfit from one month to two months, though.

 And again, this little onesie looks loose on him here and I feel like he's busting out of it now! He's really still small - I think I'm just used to my girls staying REALLY small, so he seems like a much bigger baby.

I couldn't resist these photos. I'd just fed him one morning and he pooped all the way through and up his back so I stripped off all his clothes and wrap him quickly in a blanket. When I set him down in the bouncy chair is was full of huge smiles! I guess getting his morning BM out really put him in a good mood, ha ha :).

 At his two month check up, he was 21 inches long and 13 lbs 2 oz. He was the 75th percentile for weight and head size and the 25th for height. If you remember, he was in the 90's at his one month visit. What changed? A human error in the office! When I was looking at his growth chart, I noticed they had marked him as a Female. I pointed it out to the doctor this time and they fixed it in the system. So he'd be in the 90th percentile if he was a girl, but just the 75th if he was a boy.

His baby acne has pretty much cleared up, and I've been putting Aquafor on a few spots of baby eczema on his face and it's clearing up too. June and Willa were infants in Houston's climate so it's new for me having a baby in this dry air. The doctor also pointed out a few common chafing spots for "big boys" and their rolls, ha ha.

Some of the O'Kelley's Meet Lars

Shannon, Claire, and Scarlett flew out when Lars was about three weeks to meet him. I'm so glad they got to come when he had all his newborn littleness! They are true baby lovers and snuggled him good. They flew in Friday night and just hung out at the house all day Saturday and flew out that evening. It was so nice, the cousins played, swam, fought, played, and swam again. Perfect.

Shannon introduced me to this Kickee Pants brand and Lars is wearing a romper she got him. It's super soft, super thin organic cotton. Perfect for feeling every single squishy baby roll under the fabric.

 I can't believe these are the only photos I got! I know I have more somewhere of Claire and Scarlett holding Lars, but I can't find them on my computer right now. We love our cousins!

Baby Shower!

I was looking through photos and realized I missed posting about a lot of fun things. Rebecca and Shannon were so sweet to throw me a baby shower for Lars. They, of course, threw the ultimate bash when I was pregnant with Willa. This time, Shannon had the fantastic, amazing, awesome idea to hold it at a mani-pedi salon.

I was about 34 weeks pregnant, I think, and getting very big. Shannon and Scarlett flew in for the event and at the last moment I decided to bring Willa and June along too. I'm SO glad I did. They had no idea what a mani-pedi was or what to expect. They were beyond thrilled and loved it so so so much. Willa asked if she could come back a lot more, and Shannon said, "Of course, you just ask your Aunt Rebecca and she'll take you whenever you want to go." Ha ha, but really - it's the truth.

 I love these two cousins together! They are only three months apart.

Okay, so it's not the most flattering picture of me - but I'm hugely pregnant!

 My mom and sister came down for it and I invited a few friends from my old ward, my new ward, and other places in between.

 The girls were very helpful at the present unwrapping portion of the party. Actually, the salon was trying to boot us out because they were opening for general customers in just a few minutes. We probably should've scrapped the public opening of gifts. People were very nice and sweet with their presents for Lars.

 We finished it off by taking a dip in our still chilly pool. At this point, it was still March and the weather was very nice and temperate. But we've found if we keep the solar cover on for enough sunny consecutive days it can warm the pool up to a survivable level. The problem with springtime is that the wind is constantly blowing the cover off :).

Baby pizza face

This was last sunday after he got blessed in church. His social smiling is really on point hear days andhe pulled out all the stops for Aunt Becca.

This baby is the yummiest, sweetest thing ever even if his baby acne took over his beautiful face for a bit. Lars continues to be a calm, mild baby. I've noticed as I cut out more and more dairy and also chocolate :( that he is even more calm and sleeps even better!

He's growing so fast that my mind can't keep up with it. He's definitely growing bigger/faster than the girls did (or at least that I can remember). I put him in a little three month outfit and found that it was a little snug in the belly and chunky leg department, but fit just right in the shoulders, ha ha. He just feels heavy and looks so big to me!

His acne is starting to clear up and to me he looks even more like the girls. Actually, he probably looks like himself, but all three of their very similar baby features are starting to blur together and he looks even more like my third girl at times - especially when I get him out of the bath and wrap him in June's old pink hooded towel 😂. Poor little boy. But he looks very sweet in his boy clothings too. Here are just a few pictures.

Chillaxin' with Uncle Brandon

Alyson sent this adorable knit outfit as a blessing contender. It came in second place and I'm still second guessing myself about it because he wore it yesterday and looked soooo adorable!!

Lars in One Month!

How quickly a month goes with a newborn! While I was in the waiting room at the doctor's office for Lars' one month check-up, I looked around and realized that he wasn't the smallest/newest baby there anymore! Sad! I love that they grow and change, but those fresh newborn days are so, so brief.

Lars had a much more eventful first month than with the girls. Putting them in their carseat for a short activity was a big deal. Poor boy has been shuttled back and forth to school, gymnastics, and swim lessons. Some days I'd just look at him and think, "When did I last nurse you at home instead of on the go somewhere?" I really look forward to the evenings when the girls are down and I can just hold him without having anywhere to go. - I do usually have a kitchen to clean, but that's so much less pleasant than holding a sweet smelling baby (or sour smelling, depending on lots of factors that day!).

Poor Lars was pretty sleepy the first two weeks, probably due to me being on some high-prescription antihistamines. It was tough to keep the little guy awake and so he seemed to stay more like a brand new newborn who just sleeps and sleeps all the time. Happily, even off the drugs he's been a good sleeper and maintained a pleasant personality. He is a very calm and alert baby. Sometimes the girls ask why he's crying and I say it's because babies cry. They know that, but he's been such a good baby that he normally doesn't just cry. He's got lots of spit-up, but it doesn't seem to bother him too much. I felt like the other girls (especially June) were pretty fussy and I really had to work with them to diffuse the gas in their tummies. I think part of it is that I'm more careful about what I eat now. I noticed with June that she was more fussy after I had a really fatty dairy, like Blue Bell ice cream. So with Lars I avoid ice cream and too much dairy all together.

Like I've written before, he's been a good nurser from day one. In fact, from his two week appointment to his three week, he went from 8 lbs 1 oz all the way to 9 lbs 8 oz. The doctor did a double take when she read his chart. He's a little tubby and a little short and has a fat head :). At the month check up, he was 10 lbs, 8 oz and 20.5 inches long. That translated to 80th percentile for weight and 30th for height, ha ha. And his head was in the 90th percentile! It's actually all a blessing because all the antihistamines can make milk dry up, so I was very blessed and happy that that didn't happen. I was hardly ever painfully engorged with him like I was with the girls, I'm not sure if that's been because he's such a big eater or because of the meds. Either way, it was nice.

The circumcision was sad and I really didn't like cleaning that area.... And I don't know why, but they won't circumcise in the hospital here. They made us wait until he was two weeks old, which felt even more sad! I often just think he's another girl since he's wrapped in lots of the same blankets and then I get a surprise when I open him up for a diaper change. What's that?!

That's pretty much all the news. I got back from my last appointment with the rheumatologist and hooray - it doesn't look like I have Lupus! There isn't really a definitive test for it. There are eleven markers and you have to have four of them to be diagnosed. The rash was iffy, so really we just had the positive ANA test. She did find that the ANA was drug-induced. She thinks it was probably previous birth control (a medicine that has hormones) that induced the autoimmune response. So that was interesting. She also found another uncommon antibody in the blood tests. This was actually is linked to more miscarriages and blood clots. Since I've had two miscarriages out of five pregnancies, it's probably due to that.

Post-partum begins

Well, as I was nicely recovering and feeling great about Lars, my postpartum recovery really threw me for a loop. About four or five days after the birth, just when my soreness was going away and I was starting to feel more normal, I noticed a few hives in my vagina while I was in the shower. As most people know, that whole area is a huge mess for a while. I didn't think much of it, but the next day it was really a lot worse. I googled it and found that some people had a reaction to the same kind of pads that I was wearing. Since I had switched over to this brand around the same time, I figured that was the issue.

I took a Benadryl and sent my mom to the store to get a different brand. (As a side note: I'd highly recommend bringing your own Poise or Depends adult diapers to the hospital instead of the mesh ones they give you. It was so much better!) Even with the change, the hives didn't go away but were spreading and becoming really uncomfortable. I got hydrocortizone cream and Benadryl cream and doubled up on Zyrtec and Benadryl and nothing was stopping these guys! Finally on Sunday, when everyone was at church, I hopped in the shower and started to get really nervous. They were spreading up my backside and front side and were just really angry, red, itchy, and hot. And everything down there had totally swollen up out of proportion. It was uncomfortable, to say the least. I decided that on Monday morning I'd call and at least ask to speak to the nurse.

I dropped Willa off at school Monday morning (Lars was now nine days old) and called the doctor as soon as his office opened. I was going to just ask to speak to the nurse, thinking that maybe this wasn't such a big deal, but I decided to risk overreacting and I asked if there was any way I could get an appointment that day. They got me in to see the nurse practitioner pretty quickly. When she walked into the room she took one look at my nether regions and was like, "What?!!! Let me go get the doctor!" So the doctor came in and took a look. He checked the sutures (I had a minor first degree tear), but there was no swelling or edema there so the reaction wasn't coming from those. I asked if it could be post partum hives, which are actually a thing, but he said it wouldn't be so localized. We wondered if I had had a reaction to something they prepped me with at the hospital.

Thankfully, they prescribed me some Prednisone right away and told me to come back on Friday for them to check it. I went home and took it as soon as I could and Oh, the relief!!! I could feel it work very quickly. The heat and redness immediately went down. I went through the rest of the week very happy. It was a freak thing, but it was over and done. The Prednisone was just a two day dose. Well, right as the effects of the second dose were wearing off on Thursday morning I looked in the mirror and found a red smudge on my face. It was almost like a huge pimple or cyst was coming. The area was hot and itchy. I didn't think too much of it until that afternoon when I realized that it seemed an awful lot like hives and it was spreading over my face and ears and I had small pinprick points on my arms. So I took Benadryl and Zyrtec again before going to bed. The only thing that calmed me was knowing that I had a doctor's appointment the next morning.

Friday morning I dropped Willa at school and drove straight to the appointment. They looked at my face, they looked at my nether areas again. They asked what I was washing with (Cetaphil) and everyone was stumped. So the OB called the dermatologist and asked them if they could possibly fit me in that day. And they also threw even more, heavier steroids at me. Again, I took the steroids and felt almost immediate relief.

 Here is a picture of my face as I was in the pharmacy drive-thru waiting for the new steroids. Not a pretty sight. It's going down my chest, on my arms, it was just horrible, horrible. Not to mention that by this point, I'm in the throws of postpartum hormones and my mental game is not going great.

 I went into the dermatologist that afternoon. He agreed with their treatment of throwing even more steroids at the rash, then as a "by the way" he said, "You know, it kind of looks like a Lupus Butterfly rash." ?!?!?!? Lupus?!?!?!? He said that if the red didn't go away by my follow-up next week, they would biopsy it and do more tests. Well, I went home a little scared by the Lupus, but still thinking it was a freak allergic reaction. My skin cleared up within two or three days (now I was on a 7 day pack of steroids) and I went about my business feeling normal. But of course, that would be a boring end to the story.

I now went into my THIRD follow-up with the OB. I mentioned the Butterfly Rash to the nurse practitioner who had been treating me. She wanted me to go get one more blood test for an autoimmune antibody. So I went and did that, thinking that it was just an extra precaution. The next day, she called to say that the ANA test had come back positive. So now, I not only had a rash that looked a lot like Lupus, but I also had a positive blood test come back! I was starting to freak out a little. The blood test wasn't definitive at all, there were lots of false positives with it, but for me it just didn't seem like good news to have the two symptoms together. The nurse practitioner advised me to see my PCP or a rheumatologist for more tests.

Then, again 24 hours within finishing the seven day pack of mega steroids, I looked down and the hives were coming back again!!! By this time I was just exhausted and depressed. I should have been relaxing and spending time at home with my little soft baby, but instead I was dragging him and June to doctor appointment after doctor appointment. I went to the dermatologist for my follow-up (at this point, we are now five doctor's appointments into this mess). I could only see his assistant who wasn't too helpful. My hives weren't horrible, but I wanted another dose of steroids, dang it!, just in case they got worse again over the weekend. She reluctantly prescribed them and then did a biopsy of one of the hives. The hives were slowly spreading again, but nowhere like before. They were smaller and not as bothersome. For me, it was the mental uncertainty of "Why are these things coming back? What the heck is going on? Is this an autoimmune response? Is this the rest of my life?"

Logically, I probably knew that I wouldn't have hives for the rest of my life, but it's hard to see that in the anxiety and emotion of the moment. Thankfully, Rebecca called her rheumatologist (who wasn't accepting new patients) and begged her to take a look at me. They got me an appointment in the next two or three days. When I got to the rheumatologist office, I just started crying a little. It was scary and I was facing something that could potentially alter my life in a significant and negative way. She was such a good doctor and took time to listen to me and speak to me. She sent me off for even more blood tests, but she did give me some positive notes. First, autoimmune diseases after pregnancy don't usually develop until six weeks after labor. Second, the Lupus rash doesn't cover the nose folds around the face. Looking at the photo I took, she wasn't positive, but it looked like it might be covering my nose folds. The other positive was that the ANA can be thrown off and give a positive result for lots of things - including out of whack hormones. The negative thing was that autoimmune diseases can often cause the body to break out in hives in response to the disease. For the still spreading hives, she told me to take a combination of Zyrtec and Zantac.

I started taking that medicine after I left her and it made a big difference. The hives weren't as angry as before and they reacted really well to this combination. I ended up taking it for an entire week just to really kick everything. In fact, the main reason I stopped was because I wanted to give the hives a chance to come back before my third follow-up with the dermatologist. I had that appointment this past Thursday and hooray, no more hives have come back! The biopsy result said that it was some kind of dermatitis (which I knew already, but is the dermatitis a reaction to an autoimmune or something else). I'm going to do a blood test for allergies and a back scratch test too. He also said that if you have a localized reaction somewhere it is possible to have a secondary reaction in another spot (hence, the face hives).

I'm going into the rheumatologist tomorrow for a follow up and to get my other blood results back. All in all, I'm feeling like myself and more hopeful. Now that the hives are gone, I feel like most likely this was an allergic reaction to something in the hospital. It was just in too much of a localized spot in such a sensitive area. I've steadily been getting more and more sensitive to the chlorine in pools. If I don't wash as soon as I get out of the pool, I'll get a small breakout of hives. Maybe the instruments or the catheter had chlorine of some sort on them as an antiseptic. I dunno. I also had the dermatologist send over all the photos he took of my face. Hopefully, the rheumatologist can get a better idea about the face rash from his photos. But if it does end up being Lupus, we will deal with it and everything will be okay.

This past week, I also had my four-week follow up with my OB. Everything is healing nicely and it was nice to see the whole staff and to also not have to come back until my annual exam in six months. All in all, my appointment with the rheumatologist tomorrow will be my NINTH doctor's appointment since I left the hospital. This is not counting all the appointments for Lars (his one week, two week, circumcision, circumcision follow up, and one month appointment) or Willa (ophthalmologist).

And that, my friends, was my horrible post-partum recovery. I've found that I have very low stamina for not feeling well. I like my body to be healthy and when it's not functioning as it should, it really bums me out. I just feel ick, and I want to know "WHY" about everything. And a lot of the time, that's not possible. I also feel a little betrayed by my body in times of sickness - it's supposed to be functioning at a certain level, but for some reason it's not. It's broken. Ryan has been a huge support through all this and gave me a really wonderful priesthood blessing during some of the worst of it that calmed a lot of my anxiety. I'm feeling very positive and hopeful now that I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I will say that hives after childbirth in your nether regions is extremely uncomfortable and I hope never to experience it again.

Meanwhile, look at this sweet face fresh from heaven.

Easter Sunday, Lars was 8 days old.