Mean thoughts

I wanted to post this on Facebook. In fact, I did post it and then deleted it because I didn't want to be mean or rude or hurt people's feelings.

But I still need an outlet! So the blog gets it. Here it is :

If I see one more ice bucket challenge, I am going to have to invent a new eye roll.

And you can quote me on that.

A few photos from lately

Willa got new glasses. Her prescription has changed and she has a little astigmatism in one eye. After they pointed it out, I realized that her current glasses weren't completely straightening her eye anymore. We shipped the purple glasses back to Houston for new lenses and then got a new second pair here. It is very tricky to fit her because she has such a tiny face. Her purple glasses are size 37 on one measurement and most stores, even online, don't have anything below a 44. I've seen younger kids look great trying on a pair of glasses, but when I put the same pair on her they stick out past her face and just drown her. We finally found a pair that was cute-ish. I would probably choose a different shape if she had fit more styles, but they are still cute.

I've been taking June to nursery and occasionally leaving her if I have to teach a lesson or something and if it's not crowded. She just turned seventeen months so she's not quite ready yet. She fit in quite well and knew just what to do at her first snack time!

Don't you love the coffee filters idea to hold the snacks? On a related note, two weeks ago our family ran the church. Ryan and I both spoke in sacrament meeting and I played the harp for the musical number, Willa was assigned to give the scripture in Primary, and then I had to teach Young Women! It was a busy day, but there weren't too many girls in YW so we combined classes and ended up team teaching that third hour.

I guess that's my other news, I got released from my dreamy calling as Relief Society teacher and called as a Beehive adviser. I'll be honest, it's still a hard pill for me to swallow and I cried the night they called me. When I calmed down, I was able to look at things more objectively. I think I had such a visceral reaction because I have PTSD from my YW time in Houston. Now, I'm just a lowly adviser, no serious responsibility and I am with the Beehives who are, of course, the sweetest and most enthusiastic group to work with. It has been well so far and so completely different than before, so that is good.

Lastly, here is a photo of Ryan working on an EQ lesson and Willa doing stickers. Ryan got a new EQ calling that rhymes with resident. It's a big responsibility on his shoulders. When we heard that the last guy got a new job and was moving away, I turned to him and said, "Well, it's a good thing you didn't do your home teaching last month!" Famous last words.

Here is a little note that Willa wrote. Can you read it? It says "Willa, mom, dad, Jun(e)" so precious!

Run Ryan!

About a month ago, Ryan started running with a running club. He has enjoyed it so much; I've personally thought he should do something like this for a long time because I think the camaraderie of a running club would be fun and good for him. He has so many good memories of cross county and track; it's nice for him to have a team again.

They meet Monday and Thursday evenings and then a long run on Saturday mornings. The evenings aren't ideal, but he usually comes home from work to see the girls for a few minutes and then heads out and I put them to bed. Ryan's not the fastest guy on the team and the coach sometimes uses him as a whip, "Watch out, Ryan's going to catch you!" He's still fast and running with the elite group. 

This past Saturday they ran as a team in a cross country style race. I took the girls to watch and it was a nice time. It was funny because you expect a 5k to last for a while, but first place was in at around 16.30 and Ryan was about a minute slower, so the whole thing was pretty quick. Though, I think the course was a little slow because these runners and Ryan can usually do faster than that.

It was fun to cheer for him and the other yellow singlets. Go Las Vegas Running Project! As a side note, Ryan's a white minority on the team. His other teammates are Luigi, Filipe, Cesar, and a few others. Another side note, after one practice in the 100+ degree heat Ryan mentioned that he must have lost about five pounds of sweat. Cesar looked at him and said,  "Yeah, you could probably lose a few pounds." Ha ha, lots of laughter still coming from that.

His group, they divided into an elite and non-elite team for the race and ran against other Las Vegas running groups. With all their speed, they still didn't take first. But, the race kind of invited all famous track stars of the past, so it was kind of a stacked deck. No slowpokes.

Pacifiers are not forever

  The title is the title of a library book that we have been reading to Willa. Yesterday I took her to Build a Bear and picked out a My Little Pony to build and we stuffed her pacifiers inside. She was brave and even a little distracted,  I think she didn't realize that that was it.

Last night she went to bed with Pinkie Pie and didn't ask for her pacifier, but this morning when she woke up and again at naptime, she told me that her mouth hurts without her pacifier and she was teary. Ryan and I are both sad to see her lose something that comforts her, but it was definitely time.

I couldn't get a good photo, but you get the idea.

The end of my patience

I have lots of ideas or thoughts to post about, but in reality we are in the dog days of summer and it's been rough. The kids seem extra whiny and with it so hot outside there isn't a lot of escape sometimes. I think it's just the post-vacation doldrums, but I've been struggling not going crazy! By 8:00 am, I'm already so worn down and annoyed by all the cries and whines and tantrums. You're shocked that my children do that? Yes, it's true. Behind all the pictures are little people with opinions and feelings and desires!

Everything came to a head on Friday and Saturday. On Friday, I ending up posting about it on Facebook. We were having Brandon and Rebecca for dinner and Brandon ended up showing up an hour early. He brought Blue Bell ice cream and several Lindt chocolate bars and then asked what he could do to help. I asked if he could help Willa clean up the toys and he went right to work entertaining and cleaning and the girls were happy and I had a few minutes respite and it was great. He's a good guy.

On Saturday, Ryan was helping Rob Thalman move some of their things so he was gone most of the day. Around 9:00 am, I was just determining to be happier and more patient. June started strumming the strings on the little harp, which made Willa want to play. I told Willa she could, but that she needed to wait a minute for me to get a little stool. Well, she didn't wait and then she pushed June out of the way (I think, I was in the other room quickly), which made June push, and then CRASH the little harp fell over!

I ran in and thankfully, things could have been much, much worse. It broke a big chunk of wood off of the harp, but it was mainly cosmetic. I was mainly worried that the little harp would have fallen on the big harp and punctured the sound board, which would have been thousands and thousands of dollars to repair. Still, there is a big chunk of wood off of the folk harp on the sound board. I think we can probably glue it on with wood glue, but I'm also nervous to do any fixes myself. Still, it's probably not worth the thousands it would be to ship it to Chicago for a real fix.

Anyway, I was fuming and angry and sad and mad at myself for losing it, but also mad at them (especially Willa  because she is the one who is old enough to know better). I found myself wanting to slap her! I wouldn't do that, but that's how I was feeling. I roughly put her in time out and sadly, yelled in a not nice mommy voice. Then, I shut myself in my room for a good while. I'm calm now and I try not to dwell on it. Things like this are part of having children and I accept that.

It was just a rough end to a rough week (and sadly, this Monday has not started out better as far as whining and screaming). I'm trying to figure out what we need to do. We went to the park this morning and maybe I need to get some crafts to do while we're inside, which is not my strong point. Anyway, things are getting real here, folks.

Utah and home again

We drove home last Tuesday to be able to make an eye exam for Willa on Wednesday. We have been waiting six months for this exam, but more on that later.

Here are a few happenings from Utah. We visited Donna and the girls had a great time looking at Fiona the cat.

Willa helped my dad pick apricots, rather my dad would toss them on the ground and she would collect them. She can't say her L sound and so many things just sound super adorable. She kept saying, "I to yittle to reach. I put them in the bucket." While we were visiting, she picked strawberries, raspberries, and squash, which was all very thrilling.

As you can see from the photo, she got a haircut! I've been toying with the idea for a while because she doesn't really like me to spend the amount of time and water squirting on it to make it look well. I've seen so many cute bobs on little girls and thought (as I have thought many times previous) that cute short hair is better than not cute long hair. It could look good long, but it wasn't on an everyday basis. My mom took her to our curly hair stylist and he did a great cut. She was very nervous but behaved thanks to a wrapped present that was waiting for her in the car. Thanks grandma! In her quiet way, I can tell that she likes the new 'do. She will stop to look at it in the mirror and feel it. Today we put a headband on for church and she said, "I am a beautiful little girl." She is so sweet and she did look adorable.

Lastly, there were many sink baths and Willa even got a turn, which was funny since she is getting on the big  side.

Now whenever I do dishes, June wanders over holding out her hand and asking for "bubba" bubbles.

It was a nice trip. My niece Ashley drove home with us to have a Vegas adventure and just flew home today.

Utah Suzuki Harp Institute

I love, love, love Suzuki Institute. My mom, sister, and I attended basically every summer from the time I was eight years old. It's basically a week long music camp where you have master classes, repertoire, technique, and theory with a bunch of Suzuki teachers. All my harp friends and their moms would be there. Usually it was at a college campus and we would stay in the dorms together and it was just a week full of music, bonding, and fun.

As I go back now, it's the same. A lot of my harp friends from when I was eight are still there. Except, they are the harp teachers and harp moms instead of the students. Some of their children are students and it's so fun to see everyone and how they have changed. Sometimes, even the original harp moms are there. Some of my friends have multiple children attending so they call on their moms or dads to come help. Parental involvement is so key to the Suzuki method that you really need a parent with the student in the classes, so if you have multiple children, you might need help keeping up with double or triple the classes. It was so fun to see some of the original moms and talk with them.

Every time I go to Institute, I just feel so grateful and blessed that I could grow up and be a part of the harp and Suzuki community. It is wonderful. I love the Suzuki Method. It's focus is on love, nurturing, and making beautiful people through music. All the original teachers who taught me when I was eight and every summer thereafter are still there (including the original who traveled to Japan to study with Dr. Suzuki and who developed the whole program for the harp) and they give me big smiles and hugs when they see me. It is really interesting to be around people who have literally watched me grow up. To be part of a community like that is fantastic. Lots of the teachers live all around the country and I only see them at Institute, but they are part of this larger community that includes me.

I did teacher training for Book Four. I've taken it before, but only as an auditor (long story) and they've changed a lot of the repertoire, so it was time for me to take it again. In teacher training, you spend a week basically going through each song in the book and discussing what technique and principle that each song is supposed to introduce to the child. We talk and share tips for learning the pieces and make sure that we know all the teaching points. Then we spend hours throughout the week observing other teachers teach students in the masterclasses. It's a great learning experience.

At the end of the week, there is a big concert with all the children. When I was younger, Suzuki camp always included the other instruments like violins, violas, guitars, etc. and the final concert was everyone on stage. Utah has so many harpists that it has its own camp now. So, the final concert is just harps - but it's 80 harps on stage and it's very cool. Even though I've seen and participated in the concerts for my whole life, I still love them and think that they are amazing. The students were really playing at a high level this year and there were several very young and very advanced players.

This year I had two students attend and it was so great. I've been teaching Elise via Skype since she is still in Houston, it was great to be with her and give her some live lessons. My little student Ashlynn is brand new. She's really a prodigy and keeps shocking me with how quickly she is picking things up. She has only been taking lessons for three months, but is already halfway through the book. There is one particularly difficult song that usually takes most students several weeks/months to be able to play hands together. Ashlynn had her hands together after one day and within a week the song was basically polished and we moved on. I REALLY wanted her to attend institute, but it was out of their budget. I emailed my friend who is the Institute Director and asked if she could waive the late fee since they weren't even taking lessons when the deadline was. My friend agreed to waive the fee, then I told Ashlynn's mom that I would waive my lesson fee for the month and they could stay overnight at my mom's house during the week instead of paying for the dorms. It made it financially possible for them and I'm so glad they could attend!

I also want to note that Ashlynn is only nine and she earned $3000 herself to pay for a harp and lessons. She pays me in cash each month and hands the money straight to me. She has wanted to play the harp for years and when they found me as a teacher, her mom started researching things that Ashlynn might be able to sell to make money. She had some wholesale contacts and they decided on these scarves. They made a website and then Ashlynn bought the first batch and all subsequent batches with her own money. Here is her website. I'm putting it here in case anyone wants to support here, and the scarves are cute! It really is amazing. She went door to door to sell and took them to craft shows. She is very shy and I asked her mom how she was able to do it. The first time there were tears, but her mom said that she just looked at her and said, "Ashlynn, how bad do you want to play the harp? How bad do you want this?" So, she swallowed her tears and started knocking. Honestly, I don't know if I could do that with my kids, but I am amazed and impressed! Ashlynn appreciates her lessons SO much. She worked for them, she earned them! They're already brainstorming ideas to start earning money for a pedal harp in the future.

Me and the other book four trainees with Delaine, our teacher trainer.

With Elise

Phala Tracy, one of the harp teachers, has been coming up with all these ways to teach music theory to kids. Here is her time signature song, they sang it in the final concert. The words are, "The top number tells you how many beats in a measure, the bottom number tells you what kind of note gets one beat."

They were weird songs, but she is an original person and the kids learned! I'm kicking myself because I accidentally deleted this great video of her song about modes. She also had a cool song about the circle of fifths on a pedal harp. For my music friends, I am going to write the modes song out here, it's ridiculous, but so clever! She calls it the Pickle Song.

"I own a lot of pickles, I keep them in the door of the fridge. I get the lids of the jars mixed up some times. I say, "Aye" to old Ian at the local pickle store. Yay modes!"

This song teaches all the modes and the melody goes up a half or whole-step as you reach the next mode. Ionian, Dorian, Phrygian, Lydian, Mixolidian, Aeolian, Locrian. So, if you have trouble remembering which mode is which, you can sing the song and know!

Lastly, I'll put up a video of the final song from the concert. It's a very famous harp song, Seguidilla by Carlos Salzedo. It's a great song and the kids learn it in book two. They look forward to it and are so excited when they are advanced enough to play it. The little kids tapped out different rhythms on the harp while the others played. On the far left in the front, there is a little girl with Down Syndrome. It was so sweet. Her older sisters play and so she is taking lessons. That's why I love Suzuki. It's all about using and teaching music to enrich a person's soul. I love one of Dr. Suzuki's quotes, "Where love is great, much can be accomplished." We don't teach just to have the best little prodigies, we teach everyone who wants to learn. This little girl hasn't even learned taka taka jump jump yet, but she had a little hand cymbal that she could to the taka hand position and it would ding in time to the music. So sweet and moving. She was working really hard to get it to ding in the right place.