Here's a photo of her during a major meltdown at the cabin. I've had to be really strict with her about eating dinner because she will constantly push the boundaries. As soon as I give in once, she's almost back to square one. She's been such a terrible eater and the climax happened probably two or three months ago. She refused dinner and went up to her bath. She was cranky the whole time and started whining to eat. I told her that we could go down and eat dinner, but no Cheerios. She was sobbing, "No dinner, no dinner!" I had just had it with her refusing to even try a meal, so I stuck my foot down (it was a dinner that was very kid friendly if she would just try it). Finally, sobbing, she allowed me to feed her a few spoonfuls of the potatoes. First she just licked it off her lips, then she opened her mouth a little further and really tasted it, and then she opened it really big and ate tons of it. I snuck in a little piece of chicken in the potatoes and as soon as she felt the texture of the chicken in her mouth she yelled, "No chicken!!" But then she chewed it and tasted it and softly said, "More chicken." She ate all of the chicken and even had me get her a second helping of it. Do you see why it's so frustrating to try to feed her sometimes? She just won't try things. So, that was a rough night for her in the beginning, but all the battles after that were much easier until we went of vacation and all the rules go out the window.
At the cabin she had just lost it and wouldn't eat anything but was starving. Finally, I just stopped giving her options and said, "This is all there is. You can go get ready for bed, or eat this." She was sobbing and had this iron grip on her little spoon. She knew she had to try it and she was hungry, but she just didn't want to. Finally my dad came by and took a bite off her plate and it was enough to get her to eat. Some of it is pride. She takes a position and won't back down until I'm able to provide a way for her to save face - like having grandpa try it, or putting her plate on a dishtowel on the ground so she can have a picnic, or something like that.
It's been a bit of a road since then, and she still pushes it several times a week, but the tantrums have mainly stopped. She was just in a bad habit. I'd go get her up from her nap and she would immediately say, "I hungy, I want someping else!!!" without me even suggesting anything! Sheesh.
I do want to remark that I don't force my kids to eat. I don't want them to eat if they aren't hungry, so I don't usually have a minimum number of bites they have to eat. I just prepare dinner. They can choose to eat it or not. Giving them the choice actually diffuses a lot of arguments and totally takes their steam away. As soon as they say, "I don't like it!" We just calmly say, "You don't have to eat it, but there is nothing else for dinner." I also don't force them to eat something that I know they really won't like. Kids' tastebuds develop differently so some stuff really doesn't taste good to them. If I'm making something I know they won't like, I'll make enough sides that they will like, or I'll fix them something simple like noodles to go along with it. So I'm not super draconian and other people are probably more successful at getting their kids to eat different foods, but this had worked for us so far. Sometimes Willa will really be gagging something down and it's clear that she doesn't like it (but she knows the rules) so after she's given a meal the old college try, I'll get her some cold cereal or make her an egg or something.
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