"Tucks" and other big words

I've been waiting to post until I could download a few pictures, but I don't think my parents' computer is reading the memory card, so I doubt I will have downloaded pictures anytime soon.

About two weeks ago, Willa and I were walking around the neighborhood and she saw the neighbor's cat and mooed at it. She has never really attempted any animal sounds at all before (though she could also do ducks). I said "meow" and then Willa meowed at it. From then on, she started roaring and making whatever animal sound we asked for whenever we asked. It was like she just decided to go for it. Since we've been in Utah, her language has just started exploding and she's finally at the point where she is experimenting and trying new words every day.

Her favorite words are tucks (trucks) and cars. She loves cars very much and can tell the difference between her toy trucks and her toy cars. She has been saying so many words out of the blue, it is so fun. We were looking at pictures from the summer and she pointed at the swimming pool, said "pool" and then pointed to the backyard. She says park, car, seat, cart (for grocery cart), ready set go, lots of animal sounds, and a whole bunch of words that I can't even keep track. When I say a word, she tries it out and experiments making the first letter sound. It is very cute and adorable and HELPFUL! The other night in the bathtub she yelled "Mommy!" and started pointing to her basket of bath toys. I asked what she wanted and she said, "Cars?!" Normally, there are a few play cars in the bath toys, but they weren't in there that night. I was able to say, "Oh, you want some cars? I'll go get some!" I sure love my girl!

First Snow

We had some snow two nights ago, so after a quick trip to buy some purple snowpants, Willa was ready for her first snow experience yesterday! She was a little wary at first, I had to show her how to walk in it and and that it was okay and fun to eat little handfuls (maybe not the best idea, but every kid needs the experience of eating fresh snow). I think if she were around other kids playing in it then she might be a little braver. By the end of the fun, she was brave enough to put the little snowman's head back on when it fell off. It's snowing right now and there is more in the forecast, so it looks like we'll soon have more than these few pathetic inches to play in. Our snowman turned out to be more of a garden gnome.

She also tried sledding down the back hill, and of course she wanted to go swinging since we were in the back yard. Typical of a toddler, she refused to wear gloves or a hat. Thanks so much to Aunt Becca for the early Christmas Uggs! They are all she has worn since we've been in Utah; they are so toasty warm and easy for me to put on her! I was also happy to see that she still fits her little white coat from Grandma Daniels. It is so soft and warm, I'm glad we're getting some more use out of it!

In Utah

Willa and I flew to Utah yesterday; we'll be here for a few weeks through the holidays. I was very worried about traveling because we didn't book a direct flight this time (it was over a thousand dollars cheaper to have a layover!), but she was SUCH a good girl on the plane! She had her own seat and did a great job of sitting with her seat belt on during take-offs and landings. I was very nervous that she would be scared and want to sit on my lap, and then we would get kicked off the plane for crying when the flight attendant wanted her to sit in her own seat. However, I think she has started to retain memories of all our many flights! She wasn't scared ever and was just a really great girl. She played with her toys and was delightful. I, on the other hand, had this massive head cold that has been worsened by pregnancy insomnia. The long day of traveling and cabin pressure made me feel like my head was going to explode the whole time. It was a little miracle that she was so good because I did not have the mental or physical capability to deal with a tantruming toddler. We made it, though, and are happily settling in at grandma's house!

Big Changes Pt. 2: Home Renters

We are now home renters! It's very strange and came about very unexpectedly, but so far we love it! Our apartment building kept demanding long-term leases, which we really never felt comfortable with since Ryan is still looking for a job. We would have to talk them down to six month terms every time, and with every new lease they would raise the rent. We were living our lives in six month increments just waiting to see what would happen. Last June, we decided that we had signed the last six month lease - especially since the end of the lease would be our two year anniversary of moving here. Come hell or high water, something was changing at the end of the six months. In our minds, that meant either saying sayonara to the Texas experiment or maybe moving to the other side of Houston so that Ryan wouldn't have such a long commute.

That decision was the easy part. The hard part was figuring out which option to take. We talked and talked and talked and prayed and fasted and talked and prayed and fasted and we still felt absolutely no direction. It felt like a stupor of thought about leaving and a stupor of thought about staying. Meanwhile, time was a ticking. The weeks and then months passed and we felt no closer to making a decision. October came, then NOVEMBER (our lease was up December 2) and still no closer! It was probably one of the most difficult decisions we had ever faced together. In a way, much more difficult than moving to Texas. Back then, we had hopes that hadn't been crushed by life experiences. Now, we knew where a bad decision could lead and we were scared. Finally, after one discussion in November where we talked in circles and realized that we were no closer to making a decision, we decided to call in for reinforcements. We started meeting with a member of the stake presidency who has always been very kind to us and interested in our life; he's also a pretty knowledgable businessman, so he could give us counsel concerning that, too. He really helped us refocus our goals and thoughts for the direction we wanted for our family.

A third option opened up for us that we hadn't really considered seriously before. Willa's former babysitter and her family moved to Denver a few months ago. Their house has been sitting vacant since it's a really tough market right now. She had called about two months ago to see if we were interested in renting, but at that point our future plans were too unsettled. I contacted her again, and now we're renting their house! I love it because it's a mutually beneficial decision. We are helping them by filling the house with renters, watching over the house, and taking better care of the house than possible random renters might. They are helping us by giving us a very generous rent (about the same as our apartment) and allowing us to be in their nice house with a month-to-month lease! We hadn't planned on staying in this part of town, but it feels like the best decision for us right now. It feels so relaxing to not worry about being here 3 months, 6 months, or more. Ryan and I both feel very peaceful and good about staying. It's hard because I wish the right thing had been to move to Utah, I think neither of us love it here, but we do feel good about our decision right now.

We're still surrounded by a lot of boxes, but it is amazing having more room! We've never really had more than 850 sq feet and it is life-changing. It's not a huge house, three bedroom and two and a half baths, but it feels palatial right now. I miss having the small and easy apartment space - my keys could only be in a few places, it was very easy to clean, but it was so difficult to make it a nice and relaxing environment because we just have so much STUFF. If we had a nice and cushy income, I think I would like being in a small space. I could just throw away all this stuff that I only randomly use, or that I am saving for the future because I know that I can buy it again when I need it. Ever since we've been married, we've kind of been hoarders. Keeping wedding gifts that have no real purpose at this time (maybe in five years they will). In the house, there is space to store it all and also space to use it. I finally used a tablecloth for the first time that we received from our wedding. I hate that I held onto it for five years, but now I'm glad to have it! Before, we never had a table big enough to use it. Also, it was annoying to dig into our one linen closet and having to move the extra toilet paper and paper towels, cleaning supplies, towels, beach bag, extra sheets, pillow, inflatable mattress, food storage, etc. just to find one tablecloth. I was filling the upstairs linen closet here and almost started crying as I was able to cleanly place sheets on one shelf, towels on one shelf, and just have everything orderly and accessible. I've even been cooking more and excited to cook because I don't have to climb up on a stool, empty a cupboard to find that one appliance I need that is behind all the other appliances, pull it down, have it clutter the counter while I cook, etc. I honestly don't know if I should have tossed so much of the stuff that crowded our apartment, or held onto it. I'm glad to have things now! I know that if I had thrown stuff out, I would be wanting to buy it now and not have the money to do so. If we had been renting a storage unit, that would have been a different story - I would have tossed everything and just saved the money we would have spent on the storage unit so that we could buy new stuff later.

Anyway, those are our big changes! Nothing huge, but definitely something different. We feel very optimistic about the future and feel like our faith has been much stronger lately.

It's so fun to have a yard! It's so easy to go outside and play with Willa! I don't dread coming home with groceries and figuring out how many trips it will take to get them and Willa up to the apartment!

Big Changes Pt.1: Catch and Released

Wow, lots of goings-on here! First of all, I got released from my calling as Young Women's president! Huzzah, hurrah!! I feel badly saying that, but it is such a relief. It was such a difficult, difficult calling for me; I think it's mostly because I have so many other stresses on my mind with Ryan's job, living in Texas, but another huge part of it is our ward. We have a great ward, we love them, but the boundaries are drawn so that it is a very humble ward. There are a lot of blue-collar shift workers who can't hold regular callings because they never know their schedule. There are a lot of airline pilots who also have a difficult time with callings because their flight schedules constantly change and they might miss six months of Sundays at a time. There are lots of single mothers. There is a lot of poverty. Basically, people are tired and are just trying to get by in life. There is a real leadership vacuum (hello, why else would I have this calling in the first place?) because there just aren't very many active adults.

Youth callings are always hard, and I think mine was harder than normal because I didn't have much help. In the beginning, we only had a few girls so we didn't want many advisors. It was just my two counselors, me, and one advisor who taught the Beehive Sunday lessons. Most YW programs have lots of advisors who teach the lessons and plan the activities. I had to teach several times a month, plan the activities (or call and make sure my counselors had planned what was on the calendar). The ward boundaries are quite large and we regularly have four investigators at activities and on Sundays. I had to call everyone and make sure they had rides - usually me, which meant I had to leave almost an hour early to pick them up and get to the activity in time, then I'd get home a lot later, too. Plus, Ryan would usually come home early so that I could leave, so I'd hardly get to see him. The middle schools here don't get out until 4:00 pm!!! So, if I needed to visit any girls, they wouldn't be home until after 4:30 (riding the bus), so then I'd be visiting at the worst traffic time, worst toddler time, worst dinner-making time. Add on top of that, parents who are rarely happy and aren't afraid to complain to me about everything we're doing wrong (when it's their daughters who make the other girls not want to come to YW's anymore!). None of these things are huge, but they just wore me down - and I really didn't do them very well, either.

Still, I'd like to remember two really great instances with the Young Women that made me realize why some people love that calling so much. A few months ago we took the youth to see the BYU Folk Dancers. It was such a great performance, but we got home really late. It was so hilarious being in a car with a bunch of really hyper Beehives. They were cracking me up. Another time when we went to visit one of our new Beehives, we asked about hobbies or interests she had. Her answer was, "I absolutely, one hundred percent LOVE Taylor Swift!!!!" I just love Beehives and their enthusiasm.

Second, we had Young Women in Excellence a few weeks ago. Last year, we only had four girls in our program total. We combined with another ward for Young Women in Excellence and only had one girl show up! This year, our Mia Maids planned the entire thing. We had eleven girls attend and participate and we have a total of fifteen girls in the program now! It was such a great evening and it was so nice to see the program grow and have some energy. This past Sunday, I also saw one of my favorite girls sustained as Laurel president. She has had a hard life and this past year made a total 180 degree turn. Last Sunday she spoke in church and was set apart as Laurel president - two things that would never have happened a year ago. It was a good day for me to end on.

The Results!

Willa had her evaluation and it went really well. The two workers came to the apartment with a box of toys. It was fascinating to watch them work with her and to see what she could do. They tested everything: social skills, communication with gestures and with words, gross motor and fine motor, and cognitive. They are so good at what they do and so good at getting her to do things! She was so well-behaved and did all the good tricks that I know she can do. It was actually very exciting for her to see what new game they were going to pull out of the box next. They would demonstrate something like matching a color or matching a shape and then ask her to do it. She was awesome at everything, naturally :). 

She actually tested right on for her age for most things. Her speech was the only thing behind, and it is only a two month delay. Actually, her speaking is low, but her communication skills with gestures, eye contact, etc. was really high so that pulled the overall "communication" skill up to just a two month delay. She doesn't qualify for help, which is the best thing, but they did give me some tips to get her talking more. I started trying them yesterday and have already seen some results!

I am used to asking a lot of yes/no questions. They said to start giving her a choice and showing her the objects. For example, holding two pairs of pajamas up and asking, "Do you want pink or blue?" That gives her a chance to experiment and use the word in a non-stressful situation. I tried it with pajamas yesterday and she pointed, but I also tried it with milk and water and she made an "Ma" sound, which they said I should congratulate her on.

Another idea was while we read books or sing songs, if I suddenly stop right before a word that she knows, then give her time to finish the thought. I did this with the ABC book yesterday and she actually said "C" for the letter c. So, basically I'm just supposed to incorporate more of that into everything we do. They also suggested doing the singing in the car while I'm not looking at her to take some of the pressure off. I'm sure a lot of people already know about stuff like this, but they were new ideas to me that I really like. If she isn't putting two words together in about six months, they will come test her again. Overall, though, since she did so well on everything else they really don't think there is a problem. I'm wondering if she and Bridgette have been bad influences on each other. They are both delayed with speech and maybe playing together allows them to still get away with not using words. They're not being challenged as much as if they were with older kids. Bridgette has just started using more words, hopefully it rubs off.

One of the questions they asked was if she plays make-believe. Here is a picture of her from yesterday before they even came. She is doing Lambchops' hair. You can see in the first picture that she is using the squirt bottle, in the second picture she is using the comb. 

She was really advanced in a few things, her social skills were at a 33 month level, and shockingly her motors skills were advanced. I'm the biggest, clumsiest, klutz around, so I'm not sure how that happened. Her gross motor skills are a few months advanced, but her fine motor skills tested at 40 months! That's like 3 1/2 years old! They said that could be why her speech is slower - because it is easier for her to do things herself than to form the words. In the bath, instead of saying bubbles, she will hit the water until it forms a bubble and then she will point to it. They have to keep testing until the baby can't do the task anymore, so they were pulling out tests that they said they don't normally do. For one of the skills, she was the only girl they have ever seen who was able to do it.

I am really happy about the motor skills. I don't want any of our kids to go into the liberal arts in college. It's a shame, because the most intelligent people I have ever met at BYU or IU or USC were in the liberal arts, but they are also the people with the worst jobs or long-term employment stability. I really just want Willa to be good at spatial ideas and reasoning so that she can get a math-oriented career like engineering. Ryan tells me that I can't get too caught up in this, but I think I will have a hard time if our kids choose a liberal arts major. I'd be fine with a minor, or even a double major if one of them was science or business based. Of course, I'm probably jinxing myself by writing this down. It will be just my luck that Willa will be an English major, which is definitely the very worst and lowest denominator of all liberal arts. I would definitely be better if she choose Classics, Philosophy, Literature, or Humanities. English majors are like the bottom dredgings of a pond - there are even statistics that show that some large percentage of English majors are only there because they couldn't get accepted into another program, whereas a professor once told our class that Comp Lit students always come from the top 3% of admitted university students at BYU.

 I'm thinking that it's time to start harp lessons. Three is the age, and if her motor skills are ready, then what's stopping us :)? I had the harp out yesterday and was playing taka taka jump jump for her. I got excited because I thought she had started to imitate the hand position in the air, but then I realized that she was just making the gestures for Twinkle Twinkle Little Star because she really likes me to play that for her on the harp while she sings along. Baby steps.

Silly Willa

It's been a long time since I just did a post about Willa and where she is right now. I want to remember what she is learning and what she thinks is funny these days.

She loves to eat oatmeal in the morning. This morning she found it particularly hilarious to eat her oatmeal with two little green spoons from her tea set. You can also see that she has a water in her tea cup. Can you tell that the water is cloudy because she has been dunking oatmeal in there and then still eating it? Yuck.

Typical baby hoarding - takes apart toilet and hides letters inside.

I looked over one morning and she was jamming out on the keyboard with her sunglasses on, a pacifier, and a little teacup and spoon.

We went to our ward primary activity on Saturday. She got to ice a sugar cookie. I've made bar sugar cookies, but not cut-out, iced cookies before (too much work) so she didn't quite know what to do with it at first, but she soon learned to lick all the frosting off.

Ryan and I had to speak in church on Sunday. He snuggled around her on the couch watching Caillou and eating pancakes while I worked on my talk at the computer.

These days, Willa LOVES Caillou! It is her television show of choice these days. She also loves her little Minnie Mouse doll from Aunt Shannon and likes to take it in the bathtub with her.

Willa loves to be outside or be going somewhere. Sometimes in the car when we are driving one direction, she will start saying, "No, no, no" because she wants to go somewhere else like the park. I'll be glad to get out of this apartment if only for the reason that it is an ordeal to get to and from the car. I don't mind the distance, but it's a battle every time because she wants to stay outside and play and do everything herself.

She likes to play pretend. Her favorites are pretending to give Lambchops food to eat or drink. She also likes pretending to put them to bed. She also like me to pretend to go to sleep. Whenever she finds something that she probably shouldn't be playing with, she immediately looks at me, starts backing away saying "bye bye", and then finally runs into the other room with her prized booty. I love when this happens with stuff that I don't care if she plays with - like cotton balls, or old newspaper ads. She can also put her own shoes on successfully sometimes!

She's still not talking a lot and it is frustrating her a little more. The speech people are coming tomorrow to evaluate her. She does, however, know almost all the alphabet. She can recognize about 20 letters, if I ask her to find them, she can point them out to me. She likes numbers and can count to two :), and is starting to recognize more. She knows all her colors and shapes. She just sees things and wants to know what they are. Her favorite book is Dr. Suess's ABC's. We had been reading it for a while when I realized that she could actually recognize a few letters, after that I started helping her more and working with her to pick them out.

She knows her timeout corner and can point to it shame-faced when asked. We've only had to do it twice, but I have threatened more than that (mainly when we have friends over). She loves to play with friends at their houses. I am learning to invite more friends over here, because it is much harder to share your own toys than to play with someone else's!

I feel like she has a very silly personality and loves to be in on the action. She has started being very sad when Ryan leaves - mainly because she thinks he is going out to play without her. She tried to play hooky from nursery yesterday. She was making such a fuss that I wondered if she wasn't feeling well, but I soon realized that she just wanted to play outside instead. No dice, I made her go back inside and told her that we were at church.

Snip It Good!

If you haven't noticed from the pictures (or been too polite to notice), Willa's hair has been a scraggly mess! We've trimmed bits of it twice, but there was still a good 3-4 inches of thick mullet in the back. With all the different layers and the curls it always looked wispy and crazy. I've been putting off getting it cut because I like how long it is, but I finally had to admit defeat. A cute short hairstyle is better than an ugly long one.

We went to this children's  hair place called Snip Its. Overall, I don't think I will go there again. It was kind of a disappointment, and I think I could do just as good of a job by placing Willa in her high chair in front of the t.v. Still, it was a fun-ish experience for the first official haircut. Because of other errands and mishaps, we didn't get there until 5 pm and it was oddly located inside a grocery store (a upscale grocery store, but still) so those combining factors discombobulated Willa a little and she did not enjoy it so much (as you will soon see from her facial expressions).

She's got a death grip on an Elmo phone and a Dum Dum, poor thing was a little scared, but she didn't cry.

 All done, a little drunken expression on the face.

This isn't all the hair, just a few pieces that were together.

Here she is the next day. It's been hard to get a good picture of it, but it does look much better than it did before.

An unexpected side-effect has been a little more trauma at bathtime. Willa isn't used to her hair hitting her shoulders, especially when it is all wet and clumped together. After we wash her hair, she is very disturbed and keeps trying to itch around her shoulders or push the hair away from that area.

Mud Run

The high school was holding a 5k mud run, so Ryan thought it would be fun to participate. It was a loop, so Willa and I positioned ourselves to watch him cross the climbing net. We snacked on water and pretzels.

Sadly, he had to wait a few minutes because two girls were stuck at the top and too scared to come down. "I seriously think I pulled a muscle. You guys, I pulled a muscle!"

Ryan still got first in his heat and age group and second overall. Go Ryan! He tried to get a picture with Willa, but she wasn't interested.

It was a fun way to spend a Saturday morning. I realized it was the first race since we've been dating that we haven't both run! I've never seen Ryan cross the finish line before, so exciting! Actually, he got there a little sooner than Willa's wandering legs were carrying her. So he crossed, and I came running with Willa to bestow a winner's kiss a few seconds later. I was a little sad not to be participating with him, it has always been so much fun doing the races together. When I say "together" I mean that we drive together and he cheers me on as I cross the finish line 20 minutes after him.

23 Weeks

I haven't really taken pictures of the pregnancy until now. They are kind of awkward to take and a little embarrassing, but I think I will want them in the future. Yesterday at church and today.

For a thankful post, I will say that I am thankful for Ryan. He is a great husband, father, and priesthood holder. I depend on his advice for almost everything (including, or especially, clothing and accessory choices) and he is usually spot on. All those dateless years paid off, because I think I found a real winner and still feel like Heavenly Father held onto Ryan just for me. Ryan's favorite food is his mom's stew recipe. He has an inherent Daniels' family weakness for snacking and treats. He likes to indulge my pregnancy "cravings" to go buy us candy, sometimes. "If you want, I'll go to the store and buy xyz" (always candy). "Really, I don't mind. I will go. Do you want me to?" Ryan especially loves orange-flavored treats: oranges, orange candies, etc. It's nice to have someone to pawn off the orange starbursts to.

Some pictures from lately

 First, Willa LOVES to watch Baby Einstein on the computer. She also recently became adept at climbing up on the computer chair by herself. After we go running in the morning, I carry her upstairs and then run back down to get the stroller and bring it up. A few days ago, when I got back with the stroller, she had climbed up and started Baby Einstein all by herself! The photo makes me laugh, but I also get a little nervous about how addicted she is!

The famous and well-loved rain boots, worn here stylishly on the opposite feet as she tries to beg a snack.

I couldn't get her to look at the camera, but she just had a warm chocolate chip cookie. Having consumed a large portion of the bag of chocolate chips before I ever added them to the cookie dough, I was surprised that there was enough chocolate to make such a cute messy face and fingers.

And, I suppose I should list something I am thankful for.

* I am thankful for sonograms. I got the big sonogram on Monday and everything is looking well. I'm grateful that sonograms can tell you what you're having - we are now 100% sure that this baby is a girl. I'm grateful that they can identify potential problems - the placenta is sitting a little low, hopefully it moves upward before d-day. This whole pregnancy has been a bit of a blur for Ryan and me. Every time I go to the doctor, it is almost shocking to see a real baby swimming around in there.

"Oh my goodness, there is a baby in there. When did this happen? That baby is going to come out sometime! Uh oh, it looks bigger than at the last appointment. Time is a tickin' way too fast!"

I'm not sure if it's just because it's the second baby, or if it's more related to our instability in life right now, but being pregnant and actually having a baby seems so surreal. Maybe it's a subconscious coping mechanism so that we don't have nervous breakdowns just thinking about the upcoming months. Still, it's not all bad. Seeing the baby also helps me feel a little more excited to realize that we're getting a new baby and growing our family. It should be an exciting and joyous time.

On one of the ultrasounds, it looked like the baby was sucking her thumb. I really hope this is the case. I would love to have a thumb-sucker. It's a built-in soothing mechanism for less crying and longer naps!

On two different occasions the doctor and then the ultra-sound tech both said that this is an active baby. The first time was while the doctor was trying to tell the gender. It took him forever to get any type of good view because that baby kept flipping and flipping around. The second was during the sonogram. An active baby worries me. I feel like during Willa's ultrasounds she would just calmly lay there like she was laying on a big float in a swimming pool. This baby must be part of some pre-natal water aerobics class.

Other than that, the pregnancy is going well. I'm still running and feel great during the run. The rest of the day, however, I often feel like a 90-year old woman. We are paying cash for this baby. Texas doesn't require private insurance to cover maternity costs, so none of them do. Basically, the self-employed who are less-likely to be able to afford things like private insurance and saving for retirement (15% since there is no employer to match or double) - are also the ones who have to pay a premium price for the services. We have budgeted and saved to have another baby, so I don't want people to worry about us. It just annoys me that life has to be this way, that something as natural as having a baby has to be so expensive. Life is what it is, though, as my mother-in-law would say, and we really don't have too much to complain about in the overall scheme of things.

Grateful: Day 5

I am grateful for the weather right now. Houston finally comes into its own somewhere around October. It's still supposed to be 84 today, and I'd prefer it a tad cooler - mainly because Willa has outgrown her summer clothes and her new clothes are all for cooler weather. Still, it is so pleasant to run in the mornings. It is so pleasant to go outside any time of day and not be worried about feeling miserable. We have been spending a lot of time outdoors just walking around and exploring and it is a great way to burn through a couple of hours and a lot of toddler energy.

Grateful: Day 4

The Video Monitor

I know that I often talk about having a video monitor, but I just love it so so much! I'm not really worried about not hearing Willa, I just like to know what's going on.

Why is she crying? Is she just readjusting and not really awake? Is her leg caught in a crib slat? Is she asleep yet or just laying there looking around?

My love for the video monitor was reaffirmed about three weeks ago. Willa woke up suddenly around 9 pm and she was crying pretty hard. This was not normal, so I ran into get her. Unfortunately, I think she wasn't quite awake yet, so she cried even harder once I picked her up. Ryan calmed her down and we cuddled her for almost an hour. She was VERY sleepy, but she really has a hard time falling asleep outside of her crib. She kept squirming and squirming and we could tell that she just really wanted to fall asleep, but couldn't while we were holding her. Since she didn't seem sick or otherwise hurt, we decided that we just needed to put her back in her crib. It was the most merciful thing to do, because she was just exhausted.

Well, she didn't think it was a good idea and started crying pretty hard again as soon as I laid her down. She cried and cried and I almost went and got her again. She didn't seem sick, but maybe something was wrong. I had the good sense to look at the video monitor before I went in to get her for the second time, however. It was hilarious, I started laughing. She would cry several loud and pitiful cries, then stop completely to turn around and look at the door. Then, she would cry again, stop, turn to look at the door. She kept doing that! This was not an instance where a baby is so distraught or out of control that they really need help being soothed. She was TOTALLY in control and trying to milk it for all she was worth! She was calm enough to lay down and go to sleep, but she was testing and trying to get us to come get her again. 

Without the video monitor, her cries sounded totally real to me, and I would have gotten her up and gone through the whole process again. But, when I could see that she was actually faking (and kept faking for 45 minutes!!) it allowed me to relax and to let her figure it out. I wasn't trying to be punitive or to sleep train because she is normally an amazing little sleeper, I was trying to give her what she needed at that moment: sleep. If she was the type of baby who would fall asleep while I held her, I would have happily done that that night. However, she isn't. She has to put herself to sleep in her bed. In the end, if I don't allow her to do that, then it actually harms her because she becomes so sleep-deprived and loopy.

I love our video monitor so much. I think having one is definitely worth the cost. I thought we would have stopped using it months ago, but two years later and we are going strong.

Grateful Day 3

I'm grateful for my jobs teaching harp and teaching at the community college. I'll admit, I don't always love going to the CC and marking up papers for fragments, but I do love that I can do it. A friend was talking to me about her husband's school teaching job and how it just wasn't very much money. She was thinking of going back to school to get a degree so she could get a job. I just became so grateful that I have at least two sources of additional income for us that don't take me away from being a mom, but that do definitely help us out. I also love teaching this semester since it's the first semester that I haven't had to completely revamp my syllabus and lesson plans - much easier preparation this time around! When we're settled somewhere, I'd like to have more harp students and maybe some nice piano ones as well.

Thankful 1 & 2

A few of my friends are keeping a thankful list for the month of November. I'd like to play along, writing down what I'm grateful for is something I have been wanting to do for a while.

1) I'm thankful that Willa can be very silly. Yesterday afternoon she was running around the kitchen completely naked except for her pink rainboots. It was very silly and made me laugh. I got pictures, but I shan't post nude baby pics on the blog.

2) I am thankful for Netflix and the Roku. I don't know what we did without it; I told Ryan that if we would have had it during law school, life would have been so much easier for me when he was gone studying all the time. It's cheap and easy entertainment.

Happy Halloween

We aren't going trick or treating tonight because we're lazy, we don't need any more candy, and this is one of the last times when we can get away with not celebrating before Willa gets wise. Here are a few photos from the ward party and from the library singing time.

"Mom, why do you have to do these things to me?"

A little happier after she won "Best Costume" for the nursery-aged crowd and got a little treat basket to carry around.

Trunk or Treat - just hold out the bucket, people give you candy. She learned fast.

We went to our beloved library singing time today. I knew all the kids would be in costume so we weren't missing it. It was adorable! Here is Miss Bridgette the cat and Willa. They mostly love to hold hands now. They hold hands and walk to nursery together on Sundays, it is very precious.

One of the many smothering hugs that Bridgette gives to Willa. Sometimes, Bridgette just loves a little too much and Willa rejects the loves and tries to get away.

She really doesn't love to wear the costume, so it is very hard to get a smile, but she at least she doesn't cry.

Jayden, MD - cutest doctor in the world!

After singing, they gather closely for a little story. You can see some of the little costumes. It was just fun, we did a little parade through the library so everyone else could see the costumes. Then, at the end they had a short craft. I love this library!

Presents!

I finally got around to ordering Willa's presents. She got a little potty and a pillow for her crib. At first, she thought the presents were perfect tools for climbing and jumping (hey, don't fault her for not knowing what to do - the last wrapped present she had was at Christmas). Are her pants a little tight? I just finished packing and putting away all the 24 month and 2T clothes. We're now comfortably fitting in 3T in this house!

After helping her start, she got the knack of unwrapping. Joy quickly turned to irritation when it turned out that the potty had to be assembled before she could use it. Note to future self: pre-assemble all child toys before you actually give them to the child. She has been very obsessed with potties whenever we visit friends' houses. She does a good job at lifting the toilet seat, sitting down, crumpling toilet paper, flushing, and then closing the lid when she's done! I don't think there's a lot of comprehension about the  actual going potty part, yet.

This is just a cute photo from Sunday morning. Ryan was at a meeting and I was doing some dinner prep. She wanted to color, but I was not going to let that happen out of my sight. Doesn't she look like a big toddler girl laying on her tummy and using her crayon? I also especially love this velour lounge suit. So comfy, I need one!

Lamb Chops

I had a really hard time figuring out a Halloween costume for Willa. I didn't really care, I just wanted something cheap and kind of cute. Nothing was really sticking out to me, though, and I finally concluded that I just needed to make a decision and probably buy a costume at Old Navy. That's when I had the brilliant idea! Willa could be Lamb Chops for Halloween!!! She loves Lamb Chops so much, it was the perfect costume. Unfortunately, several detailed web searches showed that there were no Lamb Chops costumes to be bought online, only patterns for a costume.

I almost gave up, but then a crazier idea came to me. My visiting teacher had been posting pictures of all the costumes she had been sewing and selling for big bucks on Etsy. She had just emailed me about visiting; I told her I had bigger fish to fry and asked if she would help me with the costume. She was super super sweet, met me at the fabric store (because I would have had no idea what to buy), then had me come over for three afternoons to work on the costume.

I wish I could say that I made the costume. I cut out fabric. I attempted to read the pattern. Mainly, though, I talked to her and asked what she was doing when she would quickly glance at the pattern instructions and then grab two random scraps of material and sew them together. Seriously, has anyone tried reading a pattern? Would it kill the pattern company to add a few definite and indefinite articles to the instructions? Just to make complete sentences? Please?  "Turn in 5/8" on long unnotched edge of each CUFF section. Press, easing in fullness. Stitch 1/4" from raw edge." What the hey diddle who?

Jenny did a great job, though, and was even nice enough to explain what she was doing and what the pattern was saying! I had a great experience and am kind of invigorated and not as scared of sewing anymore. Maybe I will be able to pick up a pillowcase pattern in the future and, with the help of youtube instructional videos, make one!

 She was a little nervous wearing it, but Ryan brought out the full-length mirror and she did like looking at herself! Hopefully it works out for Halloween. There are red mittens to go along! Isn't it hilarious and adorable?!

For My Birthday, LANG LANG!

A few months ago, on two separate occasions I was listening to the classical radio station and heard this amazing pianist. On both occasions I thought, "Wow, this pianist is so amazing!" Which, in my opinion, was a strange thing to think just because if they're on the classical station they should always be good. Anyway, both times the pianist was this fellow named Lang Lang and he really just blew me away.

I was really excited when I found out that Lang Lang himself was coming to perform with the Houston Symphony on my birthday weekend! I'm trying to shift birthday/Christmas gifts to giving or getting experiences instead more stuff to cram in our apartment. I read an article once about how people get more pleasure out of an experience than a physical gift because they relive the experience in their mind. It's a journey for me, because I think my love-language is probably presents, but I really was excited to get tickets to Lang Lang for my birthday. I had no idea he was such a super star! I feel a little late to the game and kind of like a groupie now.

It was a very fun night. He had three performances and was playing a different Beethoven concerto on each night. Unfortunately, on the only night we could attend, he played the 2nd concerto. It was beautiful, but I could have use a little more Sturm und Drang. I mean, it's Beethoven!! According to the program notes (and my ears) it is one of the most mild of his concertos. There was only a small chamber orchestra accompanying him, and so I really felt like I missed out on that huge Beethoven emotion and passion. It was okay, though, because Lang Lang was excellent and Ryan and I both thought that he would very passionately wave his fingers and hands in the air and examine them at times during the performance. 

I chose this picture of Lang Lang because it epitomizes a Wikipedia quote about him - half classical musician, half rock-star! Ryan wondered if that meant that the dress for the occasion should be ripped jeans and a blazer. Lang Lang wore what appeared to be a leather suit (Ryan and I are in dispute about whether it was leather or pleathor or something else, but for all intents, it was no regular suit material).

Here is a photo of us at the concert. 32 years old!

Just for fun, here is a photo of us on my 26th birthday! Ryan got us tickets to go to Madam Butterfly. Aging gracefully?

Mother's Day Out

Mother's Day Out is a brilliant marketing strategy to get stay-at-home moms to put their children in daycare. You can choose from placing your child at a center from 9 a.m - 2:30 pm just one day a week, two days a week, or every day! In fact, as a mother you DESERVE time (the entire week, if you want!) to not be a mother.

Mother's Day Out is very popular out here. I actually don't have a problem with it. If someone really needs a break or if they just want a break, then I think it is a great thing. I get annoyed because a lot of moms are being pressured to do it here. It is being couched in this rhetoric that it is best for your child and that you SHOULD do it.

For example, my good friend Lisa is facing a lot of pressure from her husband and family to enroll in her son in a program. Lisa doesn't want to send her son there. She wants to stay home with him and doesn't feel like she is overwhelmed by staying at home. Why is there this pressure from society to send away our very young children?

I have a friend of a friend who enrolled her son in a program even though she didn't want to. She cried all the way there, then in the parking lot for 15 minutes after she dropped him off. Then, two hours later they called her to come pick him up because he had been screaming the entire time. She doesn't feel like she needs a break (this baby is under a year and well-behaved), but she has been taught that a good mom sends her child to Mother's Day Out. So, she is continuing with the program for at least two days a week even though both she and her child hate it!

This has all come to a boiling point because the doctor mentioned Mother's Day Out at our appointment last week. Willa is not an aggressive baby. She usually stands there while other kids might take her toys. She'll complain and sometimes she'll get the toy back, but she will mostly wait until the child is done and then begin playing with it again, or she'll redirect herself to another toy. She rarely is the type to steal a toy from another child. I feel badly sometimes that she is the more timid child, but I would rather have her be timid than be aggressive and mean. I don't think it means that she needs to socialize more or that she needs Mother's Day Out to learn socialization. She plays with little friends several times a week. They parallel play, they actually play together, and they learn how to share! I don't think the key to helping your child overcome shyness or timidity is leaving them at a daycare center in a pack of other children. The skill they learn there is that aggression produces results. The soft get hard and the hard get harder. Shyness is a personality trait, not a weakness. You can surely introduce your child to gentler situations that will help them learn socialization and overcome their fears. That's all, I just had to vent.

Good Start, Bad Day

It rained overnight, so I thought Willa would be thrilled to put on some rainboots and go splash in the puddles. She always loves to splash in puddles and I finally thought she was big enough to fit in the boots. When I got them out of the closet, I realized that she is almost too big for them now. Oops, my bad. I hate when that happens. She was a little curious about them, but soon learned their real purpose and had a great morning. This morning she came walking into my bedroom with the boots, which she had put on by herself!!! It was so very cute and also very sad when we went outside and she was looking for all the puddles which had dried up.

That was the fun part of the day. The not fun part of the day was getting her two year-old well-visit at the doctor's. She remembers that place ever since the many appointments with her broken wrist and she does NOT like it. Lots of tears, even when all the doctor was doing was using the stethoscope. Plus, a flu shot and a finger prick.

Willa is in the 69th percentile for weight and 80th percentile for height. That was a bit of a shocker to me. The doctor said we could stop buying her whole milk and start giving her what we are drinking. I was saddened to hear this, since I have been drinking the whole milk because I was tired of having so many different gallons of milk in the fridge. Whole milk is very delicious!

I talked to the doctor about Willa's speech and she agrees that she is very behind. I didn't realize how much behind! When I count up all the words she uses regularly or semi-regularly, it is about ten or less. Yikes. The doctor said she should be using at least fifty by now! I almost always understand what Willa is trying to communicate, so there haven't been a lot of tantrums and I just didn't realize how far behind she is. She has taken longer to do other things like waving or pointing out body parts. No matter how many times I worked with her on them, I would eventually give up and then a few weeks later she would just start doing them on her own. I'm kind of expecting that to happen with the speech. I tried to teach her the sign for "more" for MONTHS and never got anything from her. I finally gave up and about two months later, she just started doing it. She seems like she's just on her own timetable for things. She doesn't like to be a performing monkey for me, unfortunately. Still, a speech therapist is going to come and evaluate her and we will have her hearing tested. I'm glad because they can identify a problem if there is one, and even if it's nothing, they can give me tips on how to work with her to get her talking more. The only words she says with regularity are mama, dada, no, bye, hi, done, night, that, and dog. She never asks for a drink or cookie or candy or anything like that.

So, that was the doctor's appointment, which wasn't bad except for the crying! The bad part of the day was later on. She was leaning off the couch and fell and bit open the inside of her lip. It bled a lot and seemed pretty bad. It also happened right before naptime, so then she wouldn't nap because it hurting :(. It puffed up a lot, but is looking normal now. She's been getting a lot of popsicles and ibuprofen and seems to be doing a little better today, but still had trouble with lots of food. It was a very sad end to the day and it has been tricky finding foods to soothe the little tummy without hurting her mouth.

Willa Turns Two, Does Not Realize It

Today is Willa's birthday. So far, she got to eat Lucky Charms for breakfast instead of oatmeal, go for a walk outside, and jump over and over into a pile of pillows and blankets that I built for her. I feel badly that I haven't planned anything (or even bought a gift yet), but Ryan is actually out of town for baby Slate's blessing, so a possible cake et al. will have to come later.

To cheer us up from Ryan being gone and to try something fun for her birthday, I took Willa to the Houston Zoo yesterday. It was probably not so great to go on a Saturday during their Halloween festivities, but I was determined that we would - how many bad adventures have come about because I (or someone) was determined to have a good time?!

I had to take a picture next to the lion drinking fountain - not as big or impressive as the lion at Hogle Zoo.

The best and worst part was the Halloween festivities. There were tons of people there to partake in the holiday which was bad, but there were also "Candy Stations" set up everywhere where you could Trick or Treat. Willa especially enjoyed these little stops. Since it was her birthday, I split the treats evenly. Here she is enjoying a sucker.

The highlight was probably petting the little goats. They had little brushes so you could brush their coats. Willa thought this was hilarious and ran from goat to goat giving them each one brush and laughing hysterically.

I know that Willa is ready to be two. How do I know? Let me give Friday morning for an example. Before 9 a.m., Willa had drawn all over one wall with red crayon, spilled her purple berry smoothie all over the carpet, and made a great escape down THREE!!!! flights of stairs and across the apartment complex before I realized she was missing. Very thankfully, there was a nice lady walking her dog who had taken charge of her. When I ran down and found her, Willa did not act perturbed in any way, she just determinedly kept trying to walk to her little favorite area to play. She's not disobedient, but she is getting VERY independent and that particular morning she just wanted to go play. I was pretty shaken up over the incident and have forever revoked Willa's privileges to play on the front stoop.

Willa does not like to talk yet. She says a few words very regularly and sometimes seems to experiment with others, but doesn't use them for long. At this point, she can still communicate what she wants fairly well, so there's not much pushing her. For example, if I am standing by the door ready to leave and she walks around with her hands in the air saying, "Uh? Uh? Uh?" that means, "Where is my purse? I can't possibly leave without my purse." So then I'll say, "Are you looking for your purse?" She will reply, "Ahh," I will then point out where the purse is, she will put it on her arm, and we will leave the apartment.

She loves her purse and it is a necessary item for sleep and for travel. She also must have one dolly or stuffed animal (preferably Lamb Chops) with her for all sleep and travel.

I'm still getting used to having this bigger and more determined personality to work with and entertain. I feel badly because our apartment is just so boring for her, so we go out to parks and play dates a lot. I love the curiosity of this age, but sometimes it is maddening and I can't always allow her the time to learn and explore. She wants to walk down the stairs by herself instead of being carried, but she has to stop and point out each leaf along the way. If a particular leaf is gone the next day, she spends several minutes pointing at the spot where it was and gesturing to me, "There was a leaf there, what has happened to it?"

When we get to the car, she has to run back and forth over the speed bump for several minutes until I finally lose patience and just put her in the car. If I always let her have her way, it would take an hour to get in and out of the car each day. I'm just trying to be a more patient mom. It makes little sense to force her into the car so we can go to the park and "play", I'm getting better at just letting her set the pace. If she just wants to spend an hour or more playing around the apartment complex and exploring instead of driving to the park, then that is fine.

Basically, she is a toddler and acting just like one. It is so fun to have her at this age. It feels like a long time ago that she was a newborn, but last year's birthday seems all too recent. She's a sweet little soul and we sure love her.

Houston Aquarium

On Monday afternoon, Willa had just woken up from her nap when I got a text from my friend Lisa. They had two tickets to the Houston Aquarium that were good just for today, did we want to use them?

I almost said no, since I teach Monday evenings and usually things are rushed in the afternoons, but then I counted up the hours and thought it would be a much needed break. I was having a few of the Mean Monday Blues so a fun adventure was the perfect antidote! 

The aquarium was pretty cool, a comparison to the Long Beach Aquarium would be unfavorable, but let's remember that this is Texas, and it was pretty darn good! Unfortunately, Willa caught sight of a fun water fountain just as we were entering, so she threw a tantrum and would hardly look at the fish once we got inside. Here she is taking a sip of water and not paying attention to the fish.

Lucky for us (and inexplicably), they had a white tiger exhibit inside the aquarium! What does a white tiger living in a raj's palace have to do with the ocean? I'm not sure, but it was definitely heart-stopping to walk past a fish tank and straight into this floor-to-ceiling plexiglass. Willa was running ahead of me and if it hadn't been for the glass, I'm sure she would have been eaten. Don't you like the evil glowing emerald eyes? Laser tiger. It was cool, but mostly freaky, to be this close and on the same level as the tiger - especially when he would jump up and put his front paws on the glass.

Here is one of the fishtanks, they really were cool. It was kind of sad that they were mostly filled with fish from the Gulf of Mexico. I don't mind seeing a six or ten foot shark. It is extremely unsettling to see a six foot Grubber fish or Carp. Bridget's dad is a deepwater welder and works offshore on the oil rigs. He says it's really disgusting because the Grubbers are attracted to light, so they'll come and swim right next to them while their diving. It's just kind gross to see a plain boring fish actually be that big with their big fat lips.

Outside they had a train, carousel, and other amusement park rides that were covered in the cost of our admission ticket. I couldn't get any better pictures because Willa was terrified of the train! I made her stay on because I thought she would like it once it started moving. Unfortunately, every time she dared to unclench her arms from around my neck and peep her head out of my should, the train would give a really loud whistle and frighten her all over again. It was so bizarre, she's usually not like that.

At the end, I let her strip off her clothes and play in the fountains. We were there just over an hour and it was the perfect escape!